Broken
by Autu-chan
Summary: Contains spoilers for Glease. Klaine. Mentions of suicidal thoughts.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Written right after seeing Glease. Reaction fic of sorts.

"This isn't home anymore." Kurt said softly, turning on his heel and walking away, hurrying after Rachel as if he couldn't bear to be in the same hallway as Blaine. His hair was perfectly mussed and Blaine couldn't help but stare helplessly as Kurt—no, not just _Kurt_, he'd never been just _Kurt_ to him—his soul-mate fled down the hallway as if Blaine had some sort of awful disease that Kurt would catch just being in the same state as him.

And he did, didn't he? He'd wanted to tell him about Eli, how the other had seduced him, made him feel loved and wanted, everything that Kurt hadn't for so long, but nothing had happened between Blaine and Eli, and Blaine hadn't been able to make the words come out, those two little words that could have made everything easier and happier. If it hadn't made everything perfect it would at least ease the ache in his chest and he would be able to drive to school without wanting to wrap his car around a tree on his way to school or take all the pills in his medicine cabinet when he got home.

He might be able to wake up every morning and not want to cry. Why was he so stupid? Eli had invited him over and he'd gone like an idiot. Eli had kissed him and all Blaine could see was Kurt so he'd shoved Eli away and ran, but the damage was already done.

Every time Blaine closed his eyes he could feel Eli's lips on his, heavier than Kurt's and not at all right, and the heartbroken look on Kurt's face when he flew to New York and said, "I was with someone."

Blaine could do nothing, could say nothing as he watched Kurt flee. He stood there for what felt like hours before a sob welled up in his throat and he crumbled in the hallway, right underneath Kurt's old locker. He clutched his knees to his chest, burying his face in them and sobbing helplessly, brokenly. The love of his life was gone and he had done nothing but watch him leave.

He didn't deserve Kurt after all. He was stupid and worthless and Kurt didn't deserve to be on the same planet as him much less loving him. He gasped for air, huge intakes of air that did nothing but leave him lightheaded and sick to his stomach. He shakily got to his feet, eyes rimmed with red, hair tousled, but still looking every bit the Teen Angel he'd been casted to play.

He walked through the music room, missing Santana's puzzled glance directed at Brittany, who mouthed "I'll explain later" as Blaine silently collected his things. Shouldering his backpack and duffel bag, he turned to leave. Not even the afterglow of an outstanding performance—because Blaine had felt Kurt's eyes on him regardless of what Kurt _thought_he'd done, and that had told him everything he'd needed to know—could possibly mend the slowly shattering heart of Blaine Devon Anderson. He was completely broken without Kurt, and everyone at McKinley knew it. Hell, he was pretty sure even Kurt and Rachel knew it.

Kurt's words rang in his ears as he walked to his car. "Relationships are about trust. And I don't trust you anymore." It would have hurt less if Kurt had physically reached out and slapped him. He mechanically reached for his car keys and hit the button to unlock his car, slipping into the seat and locking the door. He adjusted the mirror subconsciously and rubbed a hand over his face, turning around to look behind him as he backed out of the parking lot.

He didn't remember the drive home. He couldn't listen to music anymore, the only song he'd sang since the breakup was Beauty School Dropout because any song, and tune he could relate to _Kurt_ and he already thought about him enough each and every damn day. His heart was shattered enough without having the words to Blackbird or Candles grind the pieces of his heart into dust.

Blaine ignored his parents' greetings as he walked in the door. They wouldn't, couldn't understand the pain he was going through. His father was happy his son wasn't dating a boy anymore and hoped this breakup would turn him straight. Hell, it very well might because he couldn't see himself dating anybody, male or female, ever again. Kurt had been perfect, everything he'd wanted and needed.. Nobody could ever compare.

He walked up the stairs and dropped his bags on the floor by his bed, forgetting and not caring that his very expensive laptop had been in his backpack. After all, the whole reason he'd bought it was to talk to Kurt, and without that, there was no real reason for it, was there? In fact, there were a lot of things that didn't have purpose without Kurt. He blinked back tears and began changing out of his costume, hanging it up carefully. He brushed his teeth and laid on his bed, curled to one side as he'd taken to sleeping the last month.

Hah, sleeping? More like staring at the walls. He hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep since New York. His stomach rumbled a little but he ignored it, knowing anything he tried to eat wouldn't stay down for long. He took his phone out of his bag to plug it in, noticing a single text that caused him to doubletake.

_From: Kurt[heart]_

_Blaine,_

_I don't forgive you. Right now, I can't forgive you. But I'm willing to listen to what you have to say. I overreacted, seeing you was a shock I thought I was ready for and wasn't. Email or text me, please? I promise I'll listen to the whole story._

_Kurt_

Maybe, just maybe, they would be okay after all.

A/N: I couldn't write a totally angsty fic, now could I?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I never planned on making this a multichapter story, but.. Everyone who's reviewed wanted a continuance.

Blaine couldn't stop his hands from shaking as he dialed Kurt's number, still memorized even though he'd had no reason to use it for a very long time, and held his breath as the delicate _riiiing_ echoed through the line. It rang four times than want to voicemail, and, discouraged, he let his hand fall to his side, phone still clasped in it. Somewhere between the end of the call and now his eyes had filled with tears, something that seemed almost a permanent condition now-a-days.

He started visibly when his phone lit up and he brought it closer to his face to read it.

_From: Kurt[heart]_

_Blaine, this is Rachel. Kurt's asleep and I refuse to wake him up to talk to you. I was against him talking to you in the first place but he insisted, so if you hurt him, I will personally hunt you down and kill you. Pleasant dreams. xoxo Rachel._

He let out a wry little laugh and quickly texted back: _I'd deserve it._

He plugged his phone in and lay down on his back for the first time since he and Kurt had broken up. It was progress, for sure. He was glad tomorrow was Saturday, because he didn't think he'd be getting any sleep tonight; this what the good kind of not getting any sleep though, the kind of sleeplessness a person has the night before going to Disney World, or the kind before Christmas.

It was 8AM and Blaine was wide awake. He turned his phone over and over in his hand, wondering what time Kurt usually woke up, wondering if his night had been as restless as Blaine's had. He got up on shaky legs, his ankles were punishing him for working them so hard the last few weeks. He ran a hand through his hair where some gel still remained from its oh-so-perfect styling for Grease. He shook his head and went to shower, day old gel was one of the most disgusting things Blaine could think of to have in his hair.

Blaine's shower took longer than usual. Not just because he was putting off talking to Kurt, though that was part of the reason. He couldn't bear Kurt hating him even more when he heard what had happened. Even thought nothing had really happened.. He towel-dried his hair, leaving it damp and unruly as he sat on his bed, grabbing his phone again. His fingers traced the keys of Kurt's number and, taking a deep breath, he dialed the number, praying it would just go to voicemail.

"Hello?" Somehow, knowing Kurt had deleted his number hurt the most of any of this.

"Hi Kurt.. It's Blaine."

"Oh.. Blaine, hi. Could you hold on a second?" Blaine sighed quietly. Even when they weren't dating, Kurt was putting him on hold. "Sure, Kurt."

"Alright, go ahead."

"How have you been?" When had they been reduced from talking about anything and everything to this small talk, asking questions they both knew the answer to? Blaine knew Kurt wasn't taking this any better than he was. Why had he asked that?

"I've been good." Kurt sounded just as puzzled as Blaine felt. "Enough small talk, Blaine. Please just say what you wanted to tell me." The last sentence seemed forced and rushed, as if he both didn't want to say it and couldn't wait to get it out of his mouth at the same time.

Blaine inhaled slowly to gather is thoughts and then blazed in, telling the story in more of a stream of consciousness rather than any format that made sense. "Eli went to Dalton. He wasn't a Warbler but he could have been, and he graduated the year I started there. We got to be pretty good friends his senior year but we hadn't talked since then and he messaged me on Facebook and asked if I wanted to come over. I said okay and at first it was innocent, just catching up and then he kissed me and I pushed him away and I ran and.." Blaine felt hot tears roll down his cheeks as he relayed the story.

"Just please don't hate me, Kurt. Any more than you already do and oh god I'm so sorry I never.." He trailed off, no longer able to find the words that could articulate his feelings.

"Wait, so why.. Oh my god. Blaine.." Blaine heard a choked sob from the other end of the phone. "I thought you.. I.."

"You thought I'd had sex with him, didn't you?"

"Well isn't that generally what I was with someone means?"

"I suppose but Kurt.. I couldn't. I would never."

"I know. I know that now and God, when did this turn into such a mess?"

"I don't know. But Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Blaine."

"Are you coming home for Christmas?" He asked. They'd spent Christmas together the past three years and Blaine couldn't imagine spending Christmas anywhere but at Kurt's side.

"Why don't you fly up here? I know your parents always leave, and I'll be working until Christmas Eve anyway. Fashion doesn't take holidays."

"Alright, I'll be there."

"Good, and Blaine?"

"Yeah, Kurt?"

"I never stopped loving you."

He didn't think he'd ever smiled this wide.

A/N: And now it's done!


End file.
